Vulnerability is power blog

“I hate being vulnerable”, my inner child screams in my therapy session this week. Hatred was my protector. As I share  more of my personal story and chronic pain journey, I realize how many protectors I had wrapped around my sensitivities. Hatred. Anger. Judgment. All trying to protect my vulnerability.

The years of poverty, emotional abuse, and stress had me hating as a default. It was so much easier to put up the wall of hatred, then to feel vulnerable and potentially hurt again. 

Hating was easy. Withholding love from my parents, my brother or friends made me feel momentarily powerful. I used hate as a shield from other people‘s pain body. If I hated it blocked me from absorbing their negative energy. In my childhood, hate became a powerful way to protect my hurt and sensitive parts. 

After my father‘s murder, hate became my ally and kept people at arms length so they couldn’t hurt me anymore. Eventually, I saw vulnerability as weakness and walked around judging and hating. Hate felt powerful. Loving felt too vulnerable. 

Slowly, but surely the armor melted. Each storm and or initiation kept cracking me open and pushing me to be vulnerable. Meeting and marrying my soulmate, my father-in-law passing away, the birth of my first child, the psych hospital visit and the inevitable, dark night of the soul that followed. Layers of emotional pain surfacing inviting me deeper into my hard, armored heart.

During my dark night of the soul when I felt lost confused and ashamed many things became apparent to me.  Hate as a protector was no longer an option. Holding that baby in my arms melted my heart and made vulnerability a daily occurrence. One of the biggest gems of the journey from my dark night of the soul was realizing I needed to take better care of myself. I became committed to daily relaxation and self-care in the form of yoga, meditation and energy work.

My devotion to relaxing daily helped me stop hating  as a protector and taught me that vulnerability, that open hearted,  open minded alignment with my soul, was the safest and most powerful place to be. As I released the pain and hate. I got my power back. As I let myself feel and be vulnerable, I got my power back. As I let the Angels heal my heart, I got my power back. 

My mission is to help you get your power back from chronic pain, whether it’s physical or emotional, with the Angelic Pain Relief  formula that I will outline in my free master class tomorrow, Thursday, May 22. Reclaim your power from chronic pain with angel love. Enrollment is free and there will be a replay available for five days. This offering is over zoom from 2:30 to 4:30 PM CT. I would love for you and your Angels to join us. Thanks and love Jill.