Blog: When Carrying Other People Made Me Feel Valuable

When Carrying Other People Made Me Feel Valuable
For a long time, I believed my value was connected to how much I could do for other people. If I gave someone a great massage and they felt better, I felt worthy. If I taught a powerful yoga class, I felt worthy. If I could listen, support, heal, help, or somehow relieve another person’s pain, I felt worthy.
I didn’t understand it at the time, but rescuing gave me purpose. Growing up in a traumatic and chaotic environment, I learned early to carry responsibility that wasn’t always mine. Eventually, helping other people became not only something I loved to do, but part of how I knew I mattered.
Perhaps it’s no surprise that I landed in a physically demanding, service-based profession where I literally used my body to relieve other people’s pain. For 20 years, I worked as a massage therapist, and my shoulders carried a lot, not only the physical demands of massage after massage, but pressure, perfectionism, over-responsibility, and other people’s pain and problems.
Then I tore my ACL. After surgery, I returned to massage before my body was fully ready. I compensated with improper body mechanics and eventually tore my shoulder.
There was a physical reason for my shoulder injury. But there was also a deeper story.
When my shoulder could no longer do what it had always done, I began confronting something I hadn’t fully understood: Who was I if I couldn’t carry everyone anymore?
Over time, I realized that rescuing had given me purpose, but it had also distracted me from my own pain. Underneath it was an old belief that my worth was connected to how well I served, supported, and helped other people.
My shoulder injury helped me recognize that I don’t have to carry someone in order to care about them. I don’t have to rescue someone to support their healing. And my value doesn’t come from how much pain I can relieve for another person.
That realization was liberating.
Your shoulder pain may have a clear physical origin. Mine did. But I believe the physical story may not always be the only story.
So if your shoulders hurt, become curious about what else you may be carrying. Are you over-responsible for other people? Are you carrying a mountain of shoulds? Do you feel pressure to keep everyone okay? Has being needed become intertwined with feeling valuable?
For me, addressing these deeper emotional patterns became an important part of experiencing a substantial reduction in the intensity, duration, and frequency of my shoulder pain.
The healing energy I associate with the shoulders is Freedom. And liberation doesn’t mean freedom from responsibility. It means freedom from carrying responsibility that was never yours.
You don’t have to stop caring to stop carrying.
On September 22, I invite you to join me for Angelic Pain Relief: Shoulder Pain Relief & Wellness, a one-hour group Angel Healing where we’ll work with six shadows of Freedom and invite greater relief through intention, relaxation, and divine support.

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